Hello everyone and Happy Wednesday!
Today’s post is unlike any that I have done. This is the most vulnerable, honest, and private thing that I have ever shared with anyone. I am putting myself out there, because I believe that I am not the only person who suffers from this and I am hoping that by sharing my story it will allow others to see that they are not alone.
I have had a thyroid problem for the past 12 years. It’s not something I discuss among family members or friends. It’s MY problem. It’s MY body. It never felt like someone else’s burden and honestly, something I didn’t think those around me would fully understand.
When I was 16 years old, I went to the doctor because I felt that something was “off” with my body. I looked younger than my peers and I wasn’t maturing in the same manner as everyone. After seeing a specialist, it was blatantly clear that my thyroid was behind by a matter of years. It was a relief and a gut punch at the same time. After being on medication for hypothyroidism for a few years, by my 20’s I seemed to be back to normal. My levels were normal, I felt fine, and I figured the problem was gone.
When I turned 25 and pregnant with my first child, my thyroid problem re-appeared. It turns out with all the hormonal changes in your body that happen with pregnancy it’s VERY easy to have a thyroid problem return. Fast forward, 2 years postpartum and I am still regularly getting my levels checked and still on medication.
Living with hypothyroidism is THE HARDEST ASPECT OF MY LIFE.
In case you are unaware of the symptoms that come with this, let me fill you in…
- I get freezing cold hands and feet (to the point I am not sure if a room is actually cold or if it’s my thyroid)
- I get tired and not just “I am the mother of a toddler level tired” I am talking so beyond the level of fatigue I am AMAZED that I can function at all
- Dry skin
- Moody-Irritable-Overly Emotional/Sensitive- There was a day when I offered to make my husband chili and I told him that we only had beans. My CARNIVORE of a husband said, “Why would we have chili with just beans??” And I BURSTED into tears, because he hurt my feelings. The logical human I know I am would’ve been like “Oh okay,” but this tiny, destructive thyroid issue that I am toting around was incredibly insulted.
- Sluggishness- Some days I feel so weak that I don’t know how I get through the day when all I want to do is curl up into a ball
In order to ensure that I don’t deal with the issues above, I need to be on medication. Having HYPOthyroidism means that I have an UNDER active thyroid. The medication mimics what my body should be producing and allows me to maintain my normal, level-headed, let’s be honest–still incredibly sensitive, self.
Thyroid levels need to be checked often, because they can change on a dime. I’ll recognize when my levels are off, because I’ll have reverted back to the above list. It’s a horrible feeling. I sometimes feel like I am trapped inside my own body, because I can’t control my mood. It’s as if I am watching myself say something and wishing I could stop it, but I can’t. Thankfully my husband knows all about my body and WHO I AM and WHO I AM WHEN I’M “Off Balance”
I like to say that I am “Off Balance,” because my hormones are off and I can tell. It’s an incredibly hard thing to deal with, because I do need to frequently stay up to date on my blood work and make sure the dosage of my medication is adequate. I actually made an appointment with my doctor for the end of this week for blood work and updated prescription.
IF you do have Hypothyroidism, please know that you are not alone and you’re not crazy. You’re still you in there even if your hormones are trying to make you someone else.
IF you can relate to the above list, but haven’t considered it being a thyroid problem..it can’t hurt to look into it. I am not a doctor, but it never hurts to be BEYOND in-tune with what your body is trying to tell you.
I hope this helps.