Take your toddler to the zoo alone,they said.
It’ll be fun, they said.
I’m essentially a walking-talking Murphy’s Law so why I decided to go even when my Monday play date cancelled on me…is beyond me! Plus, the zoo was EERILY crowded for a Monday. Like, come on. Where are all of you even coming from!? Then, I realized it’s Spring Freaking Break. So EVERYONE probably had the same idea that the zoo would be dead on a Monday. Oh well.
I did actually have a really good time. Got my extra large coffee, had my Fit Bit on, and was ready to kick some zoo BOOTY!
I highly recommend that before you take your little to the zoo work with them on getting to know all about the animals. It really enhances the experience. Our daughter is two. She knows all the animals and the sounds they make. It’s the sweetest thing. She’s able to point and go “Oooh the duckies! Quack Quack Quack.”
Which also led to us standing in the middle of the desert trail with NO ANIMAL EXHIBITS AROUND, but my daughter spotting the one lone duck that had clearly tried to escape that she decided she must watch and communicate with. We must have looked nuts, because from any angle it probably looked like she was chatting it up with a cactus. Which, I guess, is only slightly less weird than the random duck.
So, the other day my husband and I were watching some show about the Bronx Zoo where they have baby cheetahs with dogs from the very beginning so they behave similarly to that of a dog. I WANTED ONE. I was like DONE. Just a little baby cheetah and maybe a little Lab and we would be so damn cute walking around the neighborhood, like NBD just me and MY CHEETAH.
That was until I saw this cheetah look at my baby like PREY. This eye stare went on for a few minutes before I went NOPE.
Also-You’ll notice my daughter has a can in her stroller. IT’S SPARKLING WATER. Some lady hard core judged me for it until she found common sense and realized I wasn’t giving my daughter a Diet Coke. But hey no one saw me calling her out on her Neon Pink Fanny Pack. Jeepers. Some people. Nosy and judgey.
Next, I tried to show her the LIONS. There’s ALWAYS a male and a female in the exhibit. But this time there was only the female. Which got my mom panic mode going, “Holy crap what if there is a lion in the zoo!? What would I even do??” (Also, I made the mistake of watching the latest episode of Fox show 911 before making this trip, which dealt with a tiger escape!–If you haven’t seen the show, YOU NEED TO. I’ll admit the Pilot episode is just so-so, but the rest is ADDICTING…DO IT!)
And yet the missing lion was not the scariest part of my morning…the damn bird sanctuary.
I don’t do birds.
The episode of Gilmore Girls where they gave Jess a black eye from a bird was legit. NO thank you. But Ellie loves birds so HERE WE GO.
The sanctuary is FULL of birds. You basically close the doors so you’re essentially trapped with all the birds. A HUGE white bird veered down past my head brushing his wings against my neck/shoulder. I LOST IT.
I jumped and screamed. LOUDLY. And awkwardly pushed my daughter’s stroller forward in the process as I DROPPED TO THE GROUND. Like good luck Ellie, if there’s a sudden bird attack mom clearly isn’t your ally. And as I try to escape there’s this HUGE peacock just chilling out watching me. Needless to say, I think I had my first and last trip to the bird sanctuary. Or at least alone.
Overall it was a fairly good Monday morning.
Hope you liked this post. I don’t usually tell you about my day, but I’d be happy to keep it up if you found it enjoyable. I promise I embarrass myself daily.