I think this question is incredibly common for any family. People get curious and honestly, I think people are really just trying to make conversation. We are constantly seeking the next great adventure that life has to offer.
Dating…”So when are you getting married?”
Engaged…”So when’s the Big Day?”
Married..”So when are you having children?”
Baby 1…”So when are you having Baby #2?”
And it goes on and on and ON…..
And we have to tell people…SOMETHING.
What if you wanted to pull a “Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell” and just BE. Just be together and that be enough? What if you never wanted “a piece of paper” telling you that you are more than what you are? Would people accept that?
What if you wanted a long engagement? Would people see that as “Oh they must not really want to get married?” Or perhaps they are just waiting for a more stable time in their lives.
What if you had ONE KID and that was ENOUGH? What if you were perfectly content with the life-balance you had created and didn’t want to rock the boat?
That’s where we come in.
Before I met my husband, I knew I would get married and have FOUR children. YES. FOUR. I don’t even think I had changed a diaper before coming to that realization. I figured how hard could it be? Kids are great! Once I met my husband and actually went through the process of pregnancy…I went WHOA…Do this THREE MORE TIMES? Are you mad?? (Please read-Our Birth Story to fully understand my point of view!)
So I needed time.
Does that make me a bad mom or selfish for not wanting another child right away? No. Many people judged me. HARD, for saying this may be plenty for us. We adore our daughter. We’ve created this incredible balance and more love than I knew was physically possible and if WE ONLY EVER HAD HER, my heart would be fine. I would be fine.
Many people will tell you “You want them to grow up together” “Keep them close in age” “You’ll regret it later if you wait too long” That’s great. I am sure they are genuinely trying to help. But let me tell you the greatest little piece of advice, “THIS IS YOUR LIFE. DO WHAT WORKS FOR YOUR LIFE.”
Fast forward, our daughter is 2.5 years old and I would LOVE another child. Perhaps it’ll happen in the next few months or in the next few years. AND THAT IS OKAY. The world will not stop spinning if our children are three or four or even five years apart.
Many people will judge your life and contradict your life choices. Listen. Respect. But, do NOT alter the direction of your life to please those who it does NOT directly affect.
Are you happy?
With your life at this current moment, are you happy?
Were you happy before someone questioned your reality?
Keep doing you.
Keep your joy at the forefront of your life.